“I find that a duck’s opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf. That’s the biggest joke on the duck ever. If I worked at a convenience store, and a duck came in and stole a loaf of bread, I would let him go. I’d say, ‘Come back tomorrow, bring your friends!’ ― Mitch Hedberg
Now we need the clip of the black comedian who said he took receipts for everything, even a simple cup of coffee, so he always had an alibi in case the cops wrongfully arrested him.
Two very different perspectives on life in America.
Patrice O’Neal - “I collect receipts…I don’t go more than half an hour without buying something”