- cross-posted to:
- curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works
- cross-posted to:
- curatedtumblr@sh.itjust.works
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We invented the flame thrower. I know George Carlin did the bit best but… Imagine explaining that to a group of aliens.
“You… you throw what now?”
“Flames, bro.”
“For what purpose…?”
“Well, We had these people called Nazis and they liked to hide in concrete fortifications so we figured the best way to make them not be in there would be to fill it with fire.”
“Does that not harm these ‘nazis’?”
“Oh yeah, it harms them. That was like, a bonus.”
“Well, It was nice meeting you. Goodbye forever.”
… however, flamethrowers were fielded by the Germans first, and already in the previous World War.
Uh, you ought to read about what the British did in that war. They hid a bunch of massive, buried pop-up flame throwers in no-man’s land and used them to cook a bunch of Germans.
“Laughs in greek fire” - Greek sailors in 1200s
Yeah, most species take FOREVER to get the hang of projectile weapons and us big brained humans only took like 5.5 million years to perfect it! That’s practically no time at all!
The first wars were thought to be a bunch of people facing off and throwing rocks and sticks at each other. We’ve been throwing shit for as long as we could walk
I’ve seen enough videos of chimps and gorillas throwing shit at people that I don’t want to test this claim.
I did read somewhere that our brains are really good at calculating where to throw to hit something in motion.
Granted you need practice to get good, but supposedly we are wired for it.
Monkeys have both force and accuracy when pelting humans with feces.
This is just inaccurate.
It’s just a good rule of thumb to write off science memes as bullshit.
I just spent several seconds trying to figure out if “kobe” is some imaginary alien word I’m supposed to know from Star Trek or something.
You shout Yeet for power and Kobe (RIP) for accuracy
I always shout “Klaatu!” Instead of “Kobe!” because I do not understand what a Japanese city has to do with throwing
If true, it’s probably because humans have mostly slow twitch muscle fibers (e.g., great for endurance and manual dexterity) while great apes are mostly fast twitch muscle fibers (good for raw strength). That’s why a chimpanzee, who is much smaller than a person, can perform feats pf strength that would embarrass most strong-man competitors. OTOH, humans evolved to run; the kind of long-distance running that some people do for fun would kill other primates.
Well, the kind of long distance running that some people do for fun would definitely kill me
Especially long distance running. Imagine a gazelle in prehistoric Africa running away from this weird ape until it is completely exhausted, just to turn around and see the weird ape still coming after it in the distance. We were the horror villains of prehistoric animals.
