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That quacks me up.
30%: underpaid
40%: immorally underpaid
50%; criminally underpaid
100%: Les Miserables
You okay, Gulf Coast?
She knew the damage to her and her neighbors’ yards was due to the concentric focus of the boys’ activities. If milkshake production could be distributed across many yards, the boys would do less damage. She could teach others to make the milkshakes, but given the resources required, she would have to charge or else risk bankruptcy. She pondered her options regarding the future while sipping her lavender matcha milkshake and watching the boys through her window as they ran rampant in her yard.
“Do my job for me?”
“No.”
Yeah, but I think that was mass hysteria caused by bad PR. Clowns fill an important niche in the ecosystem. They generally keep to themselves and shy away from people. Confirmed clown attacks are extremely rare. Even the 2016 sightings had more to do with development companies expanding into their historic habitat than clowns actively seeking out people. I saw a movie once in which a clown was forced to live in a storm drain after his home was paved over. Starving and panicked, the inevitable happened when he was cornered by a child. Had he been relocated, he could have joined another circus and lived a full life. If you see a clown in town, remain calm. Do not approach the clown. Do not feed it. A fed clown is a dead clown. Contact your local ringmaster. They are especially trained to capture and relocate clowns. If you can, I highly recommend donating to your local clown rescue. As a side benefit, they often have education programs that allow kids to learn about and interact with them safely.
I like to listen to human music:
Would you mind retracting your statement? I feel like this is unfair to clowns.