That’s a bad joke. You’re grounded

Help, @hydration9806@lemmy.ml is attacking me with this meme!

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Mike? Mike Rotch? Is that you? It’s me, Ian Percival Freely!

He looked much better after putting on a few pounds and beating the shit out of a blind lawyer

How many officers were fired for being so easy to steal weapons from?

'bout fucking time. Use that witchcraft, you badass, you!

Great, another thing I’ll never have…

I fucking loooove my RTIC half-gallon jug! I suck down and refill that shit more times in a day than a burned-out parent at SeaWorld with a novelty cup

When you’ve got HEB, the Buc-ee’s coolers are kinda “meh” in comparison. And their home decor section is just an overpriced miniature Walmart without a single beaver on anything.

As for the kolaches: go to Kolache Factory or visit West, Texas and tell me you can ever eat another kolache anywhere else.

Aaaaaand we’re broke… But I got 4 pairs of pajamas, 10 hats, 7 shirts, and 32 bandanas all with cartoon beavers on them. I also got us 14lbs of our favorite jerky, 6lbs of the jerky we always forget we don’t like, and 8 different kinds of barbecue sandwiches and wraps. And some Beaver Nuggets.

If everything goes according to plan, we should have enough diarrhea and constipation to wreck every Pilot bathroom from here to El Paso

I’m looking forward to the part where his character’s best friend says “please don’t miss next time,” and then he never talks to his friend again even though they were equally important to the plot up until that moment

I feel like my day isn’t complete until I’ve seen one of your game screenshots. I actually have nearly zero investment in the games you’re actually playing, I just appreciate knowing that things are still going well enough for you that you get some time to play a game and post.

I hope you have a good life, thank you for bringing a warm glow into mine.

Meant to put 450. They’re the humvee driver of people only slightly below average height

I sex dead people

But predictably. Give me a real fucking number, not just “high.” You can’t do, can you, fuck-face???

Ugly cries angrily and shamefully in the corner knowing that the wrong person just got yelled at

I really don’t care what starts the revolution, but I’d be pleased as punch if history books of the future had to note that gamers ate the first CEO after he shit on their favorite devs

Oof

I say I’m sick, boss doesn’t care

That’s why I squirt a shit all over his chair

If you’re not first, you’re last