80% of my life is wasted effort. 15% is giving up at “good enough.” 5% is me looking back at my choices and and saying “yeah, I guess that was a good idea after all.”

I have a cast iron griddle that I use once a year at my mom’s house. I leave it in the outdoor grill when I’m done using it and don’t even clean it. The next time I go to use the grill, I take out the cast iron griddle and just leave it out in the elements and it rusts like crazy.

Then, the day I’m ready to use it again, I scour the shit out of it, heat it up to 500-600°, throw some oil on it like a greased up whore, and get the lowest quality seasoning on it.

Then I use it to grill some ears of corn so they don’t turn black from the soot of all the wood I burn to heat the outdoor grill. Once the corn is done cooking, I close off the grill and tell the cast iron griddle to go fuck itself.

^+15XP

I loved him and Jenna Fischer on the office. Their relationship really blew up!

Oh! They got this all screwed up.

For invading Lebanon~~,~~? we can’t**.** support you!

I’m Soviet Russia, don’t fix broke you!

About as quiet as a shart

Widdershins start my hair, your Spooktober decorations are so spooky!!!

There absolutely were consequences. A longer-than-it-should-have-taken investigation was done from which they discovered that killing your employees is very naughty and were told that they shouldn’t do that anymore. In return, Amazon made a very sincere “whoopsie-doodle 👉👈, I sowwy. But we didn’t directly kill these production assets, so no harm no foul.”

You’re thinking of Bill and Richard, the time-traveling rockers. Wait, that’s Bill and Ted… What’s Bill and cock?

You’re just trying to steal my pedi-shreddy!

Here is Plato’s cloaca
- Diogenes

What the fuck you doing, Israel?

Why stop at 10? Go straight to 12 and send in Armie Hammer to sexually cannibalize their ass

Costco rotisserie and being stepped on for OF. The more donations, the faster the model attempts to debone the bird using only their feet. At the end of each month, the top four contributors receive a jar of chicken tortilla soup made from the fermented pedi-shreddy chicken.

🥷 Android Balaclava

Android 19 💩

A 72-year-old who was paid $1000 to fight as a mercenary? Can you even travel to the Ukraine from Montana and find a place to stay for less than $1000?

Something doesn’t add up at all.

vowed to present the judges with “extremely serious and extremely solid arguments.″

Super duper totally for real arguments that aren’t made up at all. In fact, you’re the liar!

Hmmm… Might be a good idea to avoid beer halls in Austria right now…