If I was legitimately worried about wierdos hanging around my kids’ school, I’d move them to a different school. Giving them a phone or smart watch won’t fix that problem.
I get that but most people can’t just move to a better neighborhood.
There is a fake moral panic about kidnapping or whatever, but some schools really are not as safe as others unfortunately, or are in more dangerous areas. People aren’t usually targeting kids but they might get caught in the crossfire :/
Sure, I absolutely get that. I just don’t think there’s as big of an intersection between people who give their kids smartphones and smart watches and people who live in crappy areas as there is with helicopter suburban parents. I also don’t see phones and smart watches as safety devices, at least for kids under 14 or so (that’s when they go out on their own more).
The manufacturers of these devices lean hard into FUD targeted mostly at mostly at those who with means, as in lower middle class and up. That same group is plagued with depression and suicide, and I think the proliferation of these devices is a big part of the problem. If you don’t have the latest gadget or aren’t on the popular SM app 24/7, you’re “left out.” But itf you are, there’s a good chance you’ll be cyber-bullied or even targeted by criminals.
So that’s why I reject the premise. In the majority of cases, smart phones and watches don’t make you safer, they arguably increase risk, and they’re expensive to boot.
Instead of opening my kids up to that, I prefer to be the “bad guy” and say no until my kids earn that privilege. And they earn it by showing that they’ll come to us with problems, because that’ll be necessary when they run into problems on these devices. If they haven’t earned my trust, they can borrow a loaner phone when they need it.
The safety thing is just an excuse. The vast majority of people could move if they needed to, just look at first generation immigrants living on nothing just to afford rent in a good school district so their kids can have a better future than them. Those were my friends growing up.
We hard disagree on that last point. Some people can’t move for various reasons.
I grew up without a phone, so I get the benefits of learning to be independent. I also got myself a Google voice number at a young age so I wouldn’t be left out of friend groups because of not having a phone. It really is ostracizing, and back then it wasn’t as bad as it is today.
I also think the safety concerns are way overblown and what some parents really want is to know their kids’ locations at all times and be able to talk to them at all times. I’m not a parent so I can’t judge, but that’s not how I grew up, and I’m not sure it’s good for kids or parents to be that connected.
Same. All my friends had one, but my parents refused. In fact, the moment I left home, I got a phone.
And I’ll probably let my kids have a phone at some point. But every morning on my way to work, I see kids glued to their phones on the way to elementary school. We live in a very safe, middle class neighborhood where the crime rate is among the lowest in the area. I let my kids ride to the grocery store, which is a half mile or so beyond the school. The sketchiest area is near the school, with some lower middle class housing where parents don’t have the time or money to keep up on the yard. When I moved in, my neighbors warned me to keep my doors locked because there was a burglary a few years prior. One burglary, and was a neighborhood kid.
I’ve lived in a third world country where people got stabbed in front of the police station. I’ve talked to and made friends with people in sketchy areas. I think I know a thing or two about the struggles there, and I don’t think smart phones and smart watches are what they need.
I’m not sure it’s good for kids or parents to be that connected.
Agreed. And that’s my main issue, parents seem to be using “safety” as an excuseto spy on their kids. Kids need to be able to make mistakes, and that needs to happen while the stakes are low.
If I was legitimately worried about wierdos hanging around my kids’ school, I’d move them to a different school. Giving them a phone or smart watch won’t fix that problem.
I get that but most people can’t just move to a better neighborhood.
There is a fake moral panic about kidnapping or whatever, but some schools really are not as safe as others unfortunately, or are in more dangerous areas. People aren’t usually targeting kids but they might get caught in the crossfire :/
Sure, I absolutely get that. I just don’t think there’s as big of an intersection between people who give their kids smartphones and smart watches and people who live in crappy areas as there is with helicopter suburban parents. I also don’t see phones and smart watches as safety devices, at least for kids under 14 or so (that’s when they go out on their own more).
The manufacturers of these devices lean hard into FUD targeted mostly at mostly at those who with means, as in lower middle class and up. That same group is plagued with depression and suicide, and I think the proliferation of these devices is a big part of the problem. If you don’t have the latest gadget or aren’t on the popular SM app 24/7, you’re “left out.” But itf you are, there’s a good chance you’ll be cyber-bullied or even targeted by criminals.
So that’s why I reject the premise. In the majority of cases, smart phones and watches don’t make you safer, they arguably increase risk, and they’re expensive to boot.
Instead of opening my kids up to that, I prefer to be the “bad guy” and say no until my kids earn that privilege. And they earn it by showing that they’ll come to us with problems, because that’ll be necessary when they run into problems on these devices. If they haven’t earned my trust, they can borrow a loaner phone when they need it.
The safety thing is just an excuse. The vast majority of people could move if they needed to, just look at first generation immigrants living on nothing just to afford rent in a good school district so their kids can have a better future than them. Those were my friends growing up.
We hard disagree on that last point. Some people can’t move for various reasons.
I grew up without a phone, so I get the benefits of learning to be independent. I also got myself a Google voice number at a young age so I wouldn’t be left out of friend groups because of not having a phone. It really is ostracizing, and back then it wasn’t as bad as it is today.
I also think the safety concerns are way overblown and what some parents really want is to know their kids’ locations at all times and be able to talk to them at all times. I’m not a parent so I can’t judge, but that’s not how I grew up, and I’m not sure it’s good for kids or parents to be that connected.
Same. All my friends had one, but my parents refused. In fact, the moment I left home, I got a phone.
And I’ll probably let my kids have a phone at some point. But every morning on my way to work, I see kids glued to their phones on the way to elementary school. We live in a very safe, middle class neighborhood where the crime rate is among the lowest in the area. I let my kids ride to the grocery store, which is a half mile or so beyond the school. The sketchiest area is near the school, with some lower middle class housing where parents don’t have the time or money to keep up on the yard. When I moved in, my neighbors warned me to keep my doors locked because there was a burglary a few years prior. One burglary, and was a neighborhood kid.
I’ve lived in a third world country where people got stabbed in front of the police station. I’ve talked to and made friends with people in sketchy areas. I think I know a thing or two about the struggles there, and I don’t think smart phones and smart watches are what they need.
Agreed. And that’s my main issue, parents seem to be using “safety” as an excuseto spy on their kids. Kids need to be able to make mistakes, and that needs to happen while the stakes are low.