The word can have swearing but not genderisation which might be offensive (mother) nor allusions to sexual dominance (motherfucker). Nor, other possibly offensive connotations. It seems that the word is commonplace and people won’t stop using it, so an alternative to the word may be useful. But the problem with alternatives, is that people might not use them unless they carry a meaning that’s attention grabbing in some way, and when it comes to this word it needs to be able to be used in either a serious (non-funny) or comedic way.
Are you looking for an inoffensive insult?
…or for an insult so accurately aiming at the person to be insulted like pissing through a key hole from a 11.5 ft distance.
You want an alternative to “motherfucker” that can’t be offensive in any way?
Yeah no. Do you even realize what you are asking?
Upvoting because this is a a true “no stupid questions” post.
So… I think you need to look into the social and cognitive nature of swear words. Vsauce has a pretty good primer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7dQh8u4Hc
I think you also need to let go of the desire to be better than common culture, and/or the desire to engineer a better culture from an external perspective. People are gross and messy, imprecise and reckless. It’s what makes us interesting, motherfucker.
“Dad”
Literally means the same thing.
I’ve had it with these dad snakes on this dad plane!
… just doesn’t have the same punch to it.
Asking the right questions here!
I have had it with all these doucheshit snakes on this twatboy plane!
(from another comment) just doesn’t work…
That’s offensive to lesbian couples who used artificial insemination only.
Asshole works, but its not as rude.
The bigger question is, are you honestly that much of a prude?
I actually think that depending on the context asshole is more hurtful than motherfucker. “He’s a stupid motherfucker” seems like you are just angry. “He’s an asshole” sounds like he legit is a ln awful person. Not a dominant fucker or anything. Just a dirty, unpleasant being. It is more demeaning I would say. I would be more hurt to be called an asshole than a motherfucker.
Maternal fornicator
Doesn’t maternal fornicator imply a power imbalance? How about Mutually Consenting Same-Age Peer Fucker?
Peer Fucker has a good mouth feel to it.
‘You fucking donkey’ is a personal favorite
“Mudpuddle”
They posess neither warmth, depth or clarity.
That one’s really good.
I can get behind this. I feel like I can’t imagine a gangster saying it though, which is sort of a requirement for a replacement for mf’er
Speciesist connotations
Lol the downvotes here! Some people in the comments really didn’t like this.
…just swear all fucking ready.
You’re all a bunch of scuzz-junkin’ puppy touchers.
Swearing is fine what the fuck (just demonstrating). It’s more about trying to avoid offending demographics of individuals or upholding oppression/oppressive views.
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You’re such a wank-clown. (Among the least common combos.)
Criminally underutilized
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Now you’ve gone and done it, you dumb goblin.
Stop it you butt bag!
You’d think shitwit would be more popular. Unfortunately it’s close to “pissshit.”
Who is scrolling reddit calling people “dipclown” or “trumpstick”?
They’re not unused, and that is unsettling.
“Asshole” is a personal favorite.
Nailed it on the head
Motherfucker, what the motherfucking fuck are you fucking on about?
Are you some kind of fatherfucker with this fatherfucking fuckery?
- Puppy toucher
- Scuzz junkie
- Seat sniffer
- Lostprophet
- Arsebagel
- Enjoyer of Other People’s Sheep
- Soldier of 4chan
- Doucheballoon
- His Imperial Knobnobblin, Huffboy Crustmaster Studmuffin of the Lousewortshire¹ Studmuffins
- Trumpie
¹ Pronounced “Loser”
Soldier of 4Chan is devastating
Upvote for Scuzzjunkie.
The hell is scuzz? S-tier cuzzin?
Beats me. It has no discernible meaning as far as I know. Yet if you called me a scuzzjunkie with any sort of conviction, I’d feel affronted.
Well there’s always the simplification to just fucker
parent shagger?
How about DGR Dave’s “son of a butt”?
