Hey! Actual trans person. I want to start by saying please use Transgender, not transexual. It’s a dysphoria around gender and the outdated transexual term ties it to sexuality. In reality, those are very different, even if they may be closely associated in general thought.

Some of what you are describing you did when you were younger was exploring your gender. I personally think that’s great, and I think everyone should at least ask themselves how they feel about their identity and try things out if they find themselves curious. Like you, they might not find that they are trans and that’s ok! That actually happens a lot, though most cis folks don’t tend to question or think about their gender much.

As for me, when I was a kid, I just felt wrong whenever I was strongly gendered as male. I felt how you feel about your masculinity when I could get away with feminine choices. The Internet was an escape where I could be anonymous and I clung to it since it let me be more myself. If you’d like to learn more or learn signs that you or others might be experiencing gender dysphoria, I highly recommend https://genderdysphoria.fyi.