Honestly, people, it’s true. I was walking into town, a trip that normally takes me 20 minutes. I decided to test this out, so I started my stopwatch and started thinking gay thoughts. I have no idea what your standard homosexual thinks about, I’m just your normal straight white male. Just attempting to think gay made me walk into town 5 minutes faster.

I shared these results with my boyfriend when I got back from town, and he was amazed.