Just wondering…
Cloudflare: We’re the single point of failure of the internet
Funny and relevant with it breaking the federation on kbin right now. Nice job.
Hopefully it will change. I’m aware that this is a temporary solution
It might for the time being, but it’s stupid to think a single point of failure and be fixed permanently. I don’t get why we continue to centralize things when everytime we do it’s a bad outcome. We have to be smarter
Google: Don’t be evil. We’ll know if you are.
Alternatively: Oh you like this product? Sucks to be you.
Google: Ok, yea we are evil. You got us. But now we’re “Alphabet” so pretend something’s changed.
This reminds me of a movie from the early 90s called Crazy People. An ad exec has a nervous breakdown and ends up in an institution. He accidentally sends off truthful ads that he and the other patients write, they get produced, and they are very successful. It was a pretty funny movie. Some examples of the campaigns
“Metamucil: It helps you go to the toilet. If you don’t use it, you’ll get cancer and die.”
“You may think phone service stinks since deregulation, but don’t mess with us, because we’re all you’ve got. In fact, if we fold, you’ll have no damn phones. AT&T - we’re tired of taking your crap!”
“Paramount Pictures presents ‘The Freak.’ This movie won’t just scare you, it will fuck you up for life.”
“Porsche. It’s a little too small to get laid IN, but you get laid the minute you get out!”
“Volvos, Yes they are boxy, but they’re safe”.
Those are oddly compelling.
They’re refreshing, really. I’d buy things with slogans like that.
I had completely forgotten about this movie until you mentioned it!
I recall there also being a Sony ad that focused on Japanese stereotypes and how they were shorter and therefore their eyes were closer to the chips they were building, and that made them better than western manufacturers, with some clips of westerners completely failing at their jobs; that one actually made me laugh out loud.
Edit: Found the clip - Sony - Because Caucasians are just too damn tall.
Comcast - You don’t have any other options.
ARMALITE: Mass Murder for the Masses
Nestle: doesn’t your tap water taste better in our plastic, anyway?
Nintendo: you’re gonna buy our game at full price on our console and you’re gonna like it.
Niantic: thanks for your data, now give us $5 for this 2 cents worth of content.
Shein, Clothes by kids for kids.
OpenAI: Neither open nor intelligent.
Netflix: we may cancel this series, watch it at your own risk
Reddit: The Front Page of the Internet (maintained by suckers for free)
Amazon should be “You want shit fast more than you want us to pay a living wage.”
Nvidia: “Fuck you, pay me.”
@kaupas24 Microsoft then: we used to monopolize the market by a shitty behavior (embrace, extend, & extinguish).
Microsoft now: we bribe politicians and have a good PR department to continue with our shitty new behavior (buying companies to fuck them up).
Target - Youll pay more to avoid Walmart.
@kaupas24 BMW now our cars have DLCs and subscriptions.
Let’s add gamemification to the road!!!
