I have given up trying to find a girlfriend. Even though, I am outgoing, have hobbies (I dance, which is actually filled with women), go to parties, talk to plenty of women. But I keep hearing the same thing over and over again: “I am just not so into skinny guys.”

I think this is fair from the woman’s perspective. I for one am only motivated to date attractive women. So, them not wanting to settle for less actually makes very good sense to me. There is absolutely no hate or bitterness regarding that. Fuck all that: ‘all women are whores’-noise.

That being said, I think I should just consider myself celibate by virtue of my own standards. But now bitterness is starting to take hold of me. Bitterness about my life and to me as a person. As I said I am very outgoing and don’t want to become the cynical asshole around my friends.

So how do I stop this?

Edit: I go to the gym on a regular basis.

  • nimpnin@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 months ago

    I agree with the be happy to be alone advice. That part is very important. However, a practical thing you can do, which you probably already know is hitting the gym.

    It serves two purposes

    1. It makes you slightly more attractive
    2. It makes you aware that you are attractive

    The second one is the more important one, but it can’t be attained without the first. You gain immense confidence by seeing yourself in a new light, as somebody that you yourself think is attractive. Going to the gym is also doable for most people, and while it is hard work it’s not difficult.

    Ten years ago I started going to the gym. I gained a lot of confidence. I stopped going after a few years, but the fact that I know I can boost my attractiveness and confidence if I put in the work still makes me a happier, more confident person.

    • throwaway@discuss.onlineOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 months ago

      I already do, actually. But I was wondering whether or not if I should drop it after this reply. But I think I’ll continue anyway.

    • tyrant@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      ·
      2 months ago

      I second this (beyond an up vote). It’s a hard thing to start but it does wonders for self esteem and confidence.