I take Ritalin 10mg on a needs basis since I generally have functioned ‘alright’ into adulthood.
Just took one to get some work done today and it still amazes me how normal I feel about doing work once I’m medicated. Like there’s no massive hurdle to even starting. No massive reluctance and task paralysis to fight.
Coming from a whole week where I’ve been procrastinating on whatever isn’t urgent, suddenly it’s so easy to just… do.
I also get incredibly chatty (hence the post, lol), but yeah. I can’t imagine how life changing it must be for people who struggle even worse with executive dysfunction.
I’m still awaiting a diagnosis, being middle aged and having been unmedicated my entire life. It only really dawned on me, despite the suggestion years back by my spouse, that I was perhaps undiagnosed.
Hearing anecdotal accounts like yours, and those I had in years gone from people successfully medicated, really inspire some hope in me.
My partner was also the one who suggested I get checked. I hope you’ll be able to find the support and help you’re seeking soon, because it really makes a difference.
All those flaws you’ve kicked yourself over for a lifetime suddenly become manageable and doable with medication, in my own experience. It’s such a: “Wait, that’s it? That’s all it takes?” moment.
I’m kind of in this boat myself now and am thinking about if I should try to get diagnosed. Had it not been for adhd memes on Reddit and here I would never have identified the commonalities. I feel like it might be a stretch, but my procrastination is legendary around the house and my flaws seem pretty ADHD symptoms.
I’ve just feared seeking a diagnosis in that it might have negative repercussions on my life, (which I generally like as is), but I’m giving it more thought now.
You don’t need to disclose the diagnosis to your employer as long as you’re not seeking any accomodations. I’ve personally withheld my diagnosis from my boss since there’s no need for accomodations beyond my medication.
I used to have a very hard time staying awake in meetings that didn’t involve me directly, and medication has been a lifesaver. There will be people who insist you never had a problem before, etc, but I’d encourage you to just ignore them and do what’s in your best interest. You know yourself best.
I think it’s definitely worth looking into. ADHD doesn’t have the stigma these days like it used to. More and more people are being diagnosed with it now, not because it’s over-diagnosed but because we know more about it than we ever have. 20 years ago when I was first diagnosed (and subsequently lapsed taking my meds until recently) it was seen almost entirely as a focus thing. Now we know it affects so much more. Poor executive function has an effect on both mood and our interactions and relationships with others. Impulse control can be an issue. I know the inability for my brain to easily switch tracks meant that I would get hung up on stuff that most people were able to just move on from easily. Since being medicated my mood is vastly improved. It’s not from the serotonin boost completely but more in the way that I don’t get stuck in a specific mindset that I can’t move on from.
And like I said, it’s super normal now. Social repercussions are almost nil and once you get your meds figured out, your day-to-day could only be improved. I still do all the things I used to, but now I’m able to find the motivation to get things done that I had been avoiding before. I clean more often and I don’t put things off.
I was diagnosed at 16, took a couple years to get my meds figured out and then around 20 stopped taking it for reasons I no longer remember. I’m around middle-age now and was talking to a coworker who got a diagnosis. I was telling them about my experiences with meds back in the day and we were talking about things to do to help. That’s when I realized that all of the coping mechanisms I’ve developed over the years to deal with depression and anxiety had a lot of overlap with ADHD coping mechanisms (planning everything out and waiting for a manic day to get everything done). So I went and got diagnosed again about a couple months ago. I did have an advantage in getting my meds set because I had already gone through that dance decades ago so we just skipped right to the Adderall that I ended up with back then. It was an amazing over-night change.
I say all this to say that I hope you don’t get discouraged if finding the right medication takes some time. The coworker I mentioned recently took a break from trying different meds because they got disheartened by the failures. I hope you stick with it. The results are definitely worth it. I used to have to wait until I had ample time to even sit down and plan out all my activities that needed to be done and often things that weren’t 100% necessary were just put off until I had a “good” day where I felt naturally productive. Then I’d knock them all out and get exhausted. Now I’m able to get things done before after and even during work (don’t tell my boss). I still plan things out and excessively, but it just makes me more productive. I used to be overwhelmed by the need to be productive but the inability to do so. Now I’m going back to school after 20 years and my life feels organized for the first time in my life. Stick with it. The work is worth it.
I appreciate you taking the time to share it. I’m committed to sticking with it as best I can.