Mostly, they don’t

I absolutely agree. An even better structure wouldn’t have a raw password field on the user object at all.

In addition to the excellent points made by steventhedev and koper:

user.password = await hashPassword(user.password);

Just this one line of code alone is wrong.

1. It’s unclear, but quite likely that the type has changed here. Even in a duck typed language this is hard to manage and often leads to bugs.
2. Even without a type change, you shouldn’t reuse an object member like this. Dramatically better to have password and hashed_password so that they never get mixed up. If you don’t want the raw password available after this point, zero it out or delete it.
3. All of these style considerations apply 4x as strongly when it’s a piece of code that’s important to the security of your service, which obviously hashing passwords is.

If you want yourself a pillow you can drink, try a hot water bottle

Sensei because I don’t have one and that matches not having a partner.

Hug.

I’m just some random on the internet. Ask your wife or a friend. Get a hug. You’ll be ok. Maybe not great, but ok.

Looks like a w to me.

Much of the advice in this thread is either “Do xyz and you’ll have better chances!” or “It’s ok to be unattractive, it doesn’t mean you’re bad! Feel better!”. But that doesn’t answer your question.

It hurts, a lot, to not have intimacy for extended periods. It can burn, it can ache, and it can be a slow, subtle sort of pain. It can give rise to bitterness, as you call out, and to anger, sadness, listlessness, frustration.

Why don’t you want to be bitter? It’s a painful thing that is happening to you. That feeling isn’t wrong, it’s telling you something. If you feel a lot of pain and then suddenly stop feeling pain, that is very bad - it usually means you’re dying or your nerves are damaged. There’s no quick fix or silver bullet that will allow you to hold this like an old stoic, it’s just a lot of work.

There’s three places you can intervene: thoughts, words, and actions.

Thoughts are where this starts. If you don’t have bitter thoughts you won’t have bitter speech or actions. When you have bitter thoughts, just let them be. Don’t spiral - feeling bitter about intimacy isn’t great, but feeling bad about feeling bitter strengthens both, and it feeds itself from there. When you notice yourself spiraling or wallowing, just stop. Find a distraction or will yourself better or whatever, just don’t let it feed itself. Meditation might help if this mental action is difficult. If you can find a positive channel for these emotions (which is quite hard to find), use it!

Speech is the first layer where this can affect others, but it’s significantly lower stakes than actions. Generally, be conscientious. People can’t willingly un-know things so be careful with what you share. Don’t vent unless someone willingly signs up for it (which you can ask friends to do!). Don’t put this out like it’s a problem for someone else to fix or the worst thing that ever happened. It sucks, but it is manageable - you are managing it. When you make mistakes, point and call them. Say out loud “I did/said xyz, that was a mistake because abc, sorry, next time I’ll do/say mno instead.” This helps make a memory for you and others so you actually fix things and opens the door for feedback.

Actions will hopefully only come into this positively. Do the things that make good thoughts and speech easier. Learn to recognize how frustration and anger and bitterness feel in your body so that you can better notice+control them in the moment, and so that you can physically release that tension/sensation. If you feel urges to hurt others or yourself seek therapy.

It sucks. It hurts a lot in ways that many don’t understand or sympathize with. And it is itself a significant barrier to intimacy. I haven’t figured it all out myself, but I hope this helps. Good luck.

That depends a lot on the sort of women he’s approaching. If he’s mostly approaching strangers he probably still won’t get a different real answer - if they’re brushing him off like this there’s a reason and “please be honest” isn’t going to change it.

This might work with an already good friend that he asked out, but that doesn’t seem to be the situation described.

Zork zork zork zork zork zork

There’s some brackets based on area and similar https://www.ssa.gov/history/ssn/geocard.html

I’m really not

I think that’s the point? That even this couple who looks successful at a first glance still can’t meet the bar where a mortgage is financially responsible for them. America is struggling.

In the 70s this couple could have easily owned two houses.

Sure, they’re not poor compared to someone in an undeveloped region of Africa, but they are absolutely poor compared to their parents and compared to what is right/just/fair.

And 30% is a sound limit for what you ought to be spending on your mortgage. This isn’t them whining about price, it’s them recognizing that it’s not financially responsible to wage-slave themselves for the sake of buying a home.

Wdyat about the answer that unsong gives to this? Which is roughly “God creates all unique universes that are on net good. This world has evil but is still on net good.”.

Where this isn’t true, it’s extremely effective propaganda

Oddly enough, this could have been a video

I missed my flight FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPIRE!

I read some Lemmy FOR THE GLORY OF THE EMPIRE!

Kangaroos don’t exist