Havn’t even read the article, am not even part of this group. just want tot say that lemmy.world/all is a wierd thing to wake up to in the morning.
When I used our dial in modem for the first time, I never would have guessed id be drinking my coffee casually wondering about alpaca sex.
But here we are
not everyone I meet sees my medical profile, lol.
And even then they are happy to question it. Sure every now and then I mention it, bubt 9/10 I don’t. And for the longest time I’ve been diagnosed.
Finding a way to carry yourself that works for you really can make a difference.
Speaking from my own experiences… (i’m diagnosed with autism and high-IQ)
People seem to read vulnerabilities they cant really place as general mental fucked upness. For example, I struggle when two people talk to me at the same time, or ask me several questions at once. Have a couple of these incidents happen and some people start treating me as if I’m missing a chromosome. I think when people are dealing with something thy know little about, some would rather fill the blanks with ignorance and stereotypes. You could invite them to learn more, but also… meh, their loss.
People who are familiar with autism, or being overloaded on info… they often automatically slow down, ask about my challenges, ect.
I’ve learned some tricks to demand respect though, you can’t expect everyone to be sensible. I have an elaborate vocabulaire, and though I prefer to talk informal, sometimes talking slightly more formal than the person in front of you can keep them on their toes.
Another direction, I also like to deploy, is to just play the dumdum they think I am. It means less expectations, less bullshit. And honestly, nothing is more satisfying when halfway trough the year they find out you know the source material better than they do.
Another thing that has really worked for me is to surround myself with people who are eager to get to know me as an individual. In time this has also helped me grow the confidence to convince or even demand other people to understand how I work even if it originally isn’t there priority.
Hope his helps
I will be your #1 personal progress cheerleader though!
Someone can tell me all the things that caught fire because their damaged ass just looked at it, and I will still be like; So you got out of bed AND made coffee? THATS FUCKING AMAZING
I have made mental health one of my obsession topics So I started working in mental health… I didn’t see the problem with it.
I have to stop drinking coffee during work hours and have been working hard my entire career to not out-talk my clients -.- Im getting better at it though
yooo, these messages mean a lot to me. This hasn’t been the easiest week, and the… well… everything of it means a lot. Ill try to get back to this with a more elaborate reply when I do have the space and mental capacity <3
I have a fairly functional form of autism, but I sometimes struggle finding balance in points of interest I get enthusiastic about, and nobody really matches my enthusiasm, even though they try. It often feels like rejection, but this post really puts it in perspective for me. I’m not always reasonable/flexible when I’m like that. Thanks for sharing.
(To give an example related to this post; I wouldn’t assault someone for having a different opinion, but I could definitely debate them with a passion that’s a little out of place and not as reasonable as I’d like to believe it is. “Building with concrete blocks? What is even wrong with you, where you never thought proper construction? What do you mean cheap building costs? People who want to build cheap buildings shouldn’t be allowed to build anyway”.
don’t know about how big a factor autism actually is. I mean, sure might not pick up on some signals others would have.
But if I look at my own life, i think its mainly cravings… wanting to believe it.
Being single is quite a big topic in my life, and not one I’m happy about. I really miss the cuddles, the affection… just to play the game of dating even. So when that suddenly seems to present itself out of the blue, I might be way less critical of how i observe the situation than I otherwise might
Another factor, and this might be more auty related, is genuinly not being able to read what I mean or that person, or what they are expecting from me.
Hope this helps
as it goes with a lot of diagnosis.
This doesnt do it justice, but being socially different in a specific set of ways tend to create the same results as human social communication is just so specific… sure theres some local customs and habbits and such withing communities, but the thing we look for in a primal sense are all very specific. Not making those rule consistently is as confusing for them as it is for us. so suddenly their whole social playbook goes down the drain* and the only options are to either reject or to really engage and try to understand that different world, making all sorts of sacrifices in an attempt to try and keep up. (you know, like we do 24/7).
*NGL, at times I get a fair amount of satisfaction when this happens. Like; welcome to my world darling; do you not know what my face means? OH, that must be terrible. No, I’m not gonna tell unless you ask, and then i’m gonna act like you’re weird for not understanding right away! OH, what was that? did i not respect your space? I’m sorry, just explain to me all the ways how your space needs to be respected and ill try to get it right on my third try.Oh, its hard to explain what you need from me right now? Well, figure it out you can’t expect me to read your mind now can you. [all with a kind soft smile] (sorry, i’m a bit bitter today)
All in all what makes the struggle the most difficult for me is no cuddles, no physical affirmation. If I could just get my daily cuddles from someone, I’d be so much more balanced as a person. But now I just gotta act very casual around people while im actually just starving for some affection. (but I learned the hard way that when a 2m guy starts showing he craves for affection, people dodge him even more) Again, sorry for going so dark… not really having my day today… im in a venty mood
Yeah that expecting yourself to end up where you fit is something im really working on with therapy right now. Rationally I’m convinced its the way to go, its how my partents thought me to go about things. Sadly Ive been bullied a ton quite early in life, and because of that often assumed I was just not compatible with the world. Workwise I also had some bad luck… so its a lot of work building up the trust in myself and the people around me that its enough to just be myself… But I know I can do it, and I have the right support RN, so it just a matter of time.
A little rant, but ive never said this out loud now that I think off it ^^" yay progress
The first one is me when I’m anxious, the 2nd one is me when im fed up or tired.
When Im tired+anxious either one of two things could happen:
The best is when I’m neither anxious nor tired, I just pick up what I pick up and what I don’t… well people will just have to be more fucking clear about it don’t they?
90% of my social anxieties are somehow related to this, as are 90% of my violent outbursts. Why can’t people just fucking tell me what they want from me? Why am I not allowed to throw people?
I always thought that was just a me problem…
it does have it’s upsides though. Revenge is so much easier when people have their guard down.
On a more serious note; yeah I revoke “no worries” occasionally. try not to do it too lightly, but if I feel it’s relevant… I’d rather cause some drama than have all this unspoken bitterness buildup
nice try narcissists
yeah that’s where my head is at as well… I’m just not yet emotionally ready for that reality
look, I already said I’ve done a handstand. that’s about as good
I’m sorry about your glove. I hope you can take comfort in the fact that every time i see this picture, it makes me chuckle. But no pressure :)
I havn’t yet, might later today. But I’m convinced its a gpu thing at this point. Might have bashed the hdmi cable a little to hard in the port trying to install it or something dumb like that. Its the only thing that I can think off that slightly makes sense, as it was working perfectly 5 minutes before, and nothing else has happened (other than plugging in an HDD, and I already tried unplugging that)
You’re pretty much describing the process i went trough, with some altered details. Power outage fried my HDD, ended up replacing it. Suddenly monitor doesn’t work after reconnecting it. Tried the DP cable i had lying around, tried the 2nd HDMI port, both with the same HDMI cable and a different one. Tried a different monitor. (i don’t have a 2nd system I could hook my monitor to, but at this point I’m fairly sure it has to do with the HDMI port of the GPU which I simply don’t have the funds to replace… Might have a guy look at it, maby he knows something I don’t)
I only understand half of that, but either way it sounds annoying af
:') i wasn’t very accurate i guess. I browse trough wefwef.app Was looking for an alternative to 9gag… so glad I found… whatever lemmy is.