What the fuck

Have you tried putting your toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower? I’ve struggled with brushing my whole life and this is the only thing I’ve ever tried that actually worked. I also put a brush and paste at every sink but the only time I can ever actually manage to brush is in the shower.

I don’t like them but they’re at least practical.

Owning giant pickup trucks and SUVs. I’m not that secretive about it, though. I assume everyone driving them is an insecure, overgrown child who wants a big vroom vroom.

It’s the most disgusting smell. I’d rather stick my nose in a dirty diaper than stand next to someone smoking.

I can’t easily pronounce the K in “asked”. Yes, I say “assed”.

Habaneros are delicious. I actually grew habanadas this year, which are heatless habaneros, so I could get more people to try them. It’s the weirdest thing biting into a pepper and tasting spicy but no heat ever actually comes. My favourite pepper is the trinidad scorpion though. It just tastes so good, but it’s kind of stupid hot.

We have to laugh at it to stay sane. We have no control over what the Americans do.

One day my children will realise that half of everything I say is a Spongebob reference.

I feel like people are also a lot more insecure about their bodies because the only other naked bodies they ever really see are the perfect bodies in movies and porn. Nudity wasn’t a big deal in my family growing up and I think I owe a lot of my positive body image to that. I don’t really have any insecurities, even after being pregnant twice.

I love really spicy food but I just don’t like ghost peppers. Is it just spicier than your other sauces?

We had Indian pizza places where I used to live in Canada. It just makes so much sense. Lots of saucy food in Indian cuisine that is eaten with bread.

I used to work at a bakery and my favourite thing to do was bring home a fresh baguette and eat it with blue cheese.

You can! I love chickpea salad.

Chickpea tuna salad. Drain a can of chickpeas, then mix with a can of tuna (drained, if it’s packed in water), some olive oil, red wine vinegar, and salt. I add diced raw onion if I’m not too tired.

I use ketchup instead of tomato paste quite often and fortunately it never really tastes like ketchup. Maybe that’s why.

My dad and I used to eat an entire baguette on the way back from the grocery store.

Sometimes when I’m craving chicken wings but don’t want to spend the money, I just eat toast dipped in wing sauce. It actually scratches the itch.

Me at lunch, me at dinner, me at lunch tomorrow, me at dinner tomorrow…

I’m Canadian so I could be wrong but I think that’s a thing in Chicago, or at least similar to that. Or some other big American city.