It went from me wondering why I could never seem to be or stay social. I consider myself funny and people tell me that, so why do I struggle around people then? Why can’t I make really social connection that aren’t just surface level. And why can’t I seem to change the way I live? I seem to do be unable to work on things I need to do because I have to stick to this rigid schedule.

Then nothing happened for a couple months, I just figured that I was anti social and moved on, but not really.

Then I was walking back to my car from work, and I was thinking about all this stuff, and wondering why I never like going places, and why I can’t stand parties, and why when I come back from work I hide away from my family. And why can’t i make eye contact??? I just kinda went, “Ha ha I wonder if I have autism lol”

One month later, I read a little about autism, and it really just fell into place. Oh I can’t make eye contact because autism, I struggle with social situations because of autism, I can’t say goodbye properly because of autism, YOU MEAN WHEN I THOUGH THAT I WAS JUST BECOMING MORE SOCIAL, WHEN I WAS ACTIVELY FREAKING WATCHING OTHER PEOPLE, CONSCIOUSLY WATCHING MY BODY POSTURE, CONSCIOUSLY LISTENING TO HOW OTHER PEOPLE TALK, (and on and on) THAT THERE WAS A FREAKING WORD FOR THAT??? I WAS MASKING???

Anyways haven’t been tested yet but honestly it’s so I can’t be as doubtful of myself. I swear I’ll struggle through a social situation and come home and go “hmmmm I’m not doing anything autistic rn that must mean I don’t have autism and am just faking it”. He says while sitting in a room by himself, stimming by spinning a phone in his hand, following his usual schedule, with low light.

Anyways sorry for the long post, but I guess that’s expected.

TL:DR

I joked about me having autism and turns out I do.

No way

I’ve always wanted to get into the Gorillaz, but never found any of their music that I like, do you have a recommendation?

Honestly I think the community is perfect the way it is. People here are so friendly and nice. You mods put in so much work and you especially practically make all thee posts and comments. I think no change is needed.

Here’s hoping

Honestly wish I could do that. I’ve gotten so used to masking my inability to do small talk that I basically just say yes to everything. It’s super annoying and something I want to work on, but I dont really know how.

What do you mean dust off? Are you able to go any amount of time without printing??? If I go even for a few minutes without printing it feels like I’m wasting time

I took my time, I really couldn’t decide on a background, then I really couldn’t get it to look the way I wanted, then I couldn’t get the sparkles to look good. But I basically just gave up but didn’t want to leave you hanging so here is the best I could come up with, sorry that it’s not really what I originally promised. You could probably print these out and tape/glue them together, or print them with a printer that supports printing on both sides, or you could print them on card stock if you’re really feeling creative.

I think you should name the spider Able, because I named a houseplant Able (it was a dumb Cain) and then it died on me, so I think it’s memory would I’ve on well as a spider

The night security guard where I used to work was named Marcus. He’s a really nice guy who actually lives on sight. During the day he works at the local Walmart as a butcher. Sad to hear that his fly twin died :(

A mario

Same, I wonder why that happens?

Odysee has videos? I’ve been using it for… 3D printing.

Yep!

Yeah I’m not lucky to live in a country where healthcare is free, I’ll be able to get a diagnosis in less than three years, but it won’t be soon because it’s expensive.

Oh, so sorry! Try putting /j at the end comments that are a joke. It helps people like me understand what’s a joke and what’s not. Sorry for the inconvenience

Yeah, I’m currently self diagnosed. I won’t be able to get a diagnosis for a while so I understand the frustration of people that for some reason decide that a self diagnosis isn’t valid. It’s just something you have to get over I guess. I’m definitely not to the point where I can tell people I’m autistic (I actually made a post exactly like this last week, so I’m only a week ahead of you in experience) but I’m trying to get there.

Welcome! It sounds like you feel pretty similar to how I’ve come to realize my autism. Major signs that none notices, thinking you just really care about texture, stuff like that. This community has been super friendly so keep coming back here. Two last notes, check out the info page for this sublemmy, it has things to watch and read about autism, and lastly dont worry about getting diagnosed, self diagnosis is exactly, if not more ballad than a medical one. Get a diagnosis if you can but if not dont worry about it. If you need anything there are always people online on this sublemmy, also on the mastadon chat but to as lesser extent

If you’re trying to argue that they aren’t racist, I’d like you to look at the Confederate flag in the first photo

Check the info tab for this sublemmy (I guess that’s what you’d call it) it has a ton of information and stuff to read and watch, that’s actually where I found this!