There was a whole saga of him buying expensive rat erotica artwork at one point, which is a sentence I never thought I’d write.

I’m sorry you feel like this. I don’t know you, but I don’t want you to hurt yourself. I was depressed for a long time, too. Therapy helped. You’re right to think about the good things that may happen in the future, because there WILL be good things, just like there will be bad things. I don’t know the details of your situation, but I hope it gets better soon, and I hope you know that people care about you. I’m sure there are people in your life who love you and would miss you. And even if you can’t think of anyone who cares, here’s one internet stranger who does. Sending hugs to wherever you are tonight.

I hope you’re wrong and you have a lot more time than that left