“I find that a duck’s opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf. That’s the biggest joke on the duck ever. If I worked at a convenience store, and a duck came in and stole a loaf of bread, I would let him go. I’d say, ‘Come back tomorrow, bring your friends!’ ― Mitch Hedberg
Don’t bother ringing it up, it’s for a duck. I got six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!