“I find that a duck’s opinion of me is influenced by whether or not I have bread. A duck loves bread, but he does not have the capability to buy a loaf. That’s the biggest joke on the duck ever. If I worked at a convenience store, and a duck came in and stole a loaf of bread, I would let him go. I’d say, ‘Come back tomorrow, bring your friends!’ ― Mitch Hedberg
For a minute I thought they were saying “tank, yo” and it was some kind of gen alpha slang that was too cool for me
Don’t bother ringing it up, it’s for a duck. I got six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!
DO NOT feed ducks bread
Came here to read this.
From what I’ve seen, this is mostly because white bread is junk food for them. A more natural bread like this is better.
Also the concern with giving ducks junk food is that they’ll fill up and not go for other foods, but I remember reading somewhere that that’s not the case. At some point they do lose interest in bread (though the leftover bread in the water brings its own concerns.)
From what I’ve seen, this is mostly because white bread is junk food for them. A more natural bread like this is better.
No, it is the carbohydrates. “Natural” bread contain as many carbohydrates as industrially produced bread.
Carbs alone don’t make junk food. It’s the absense of other nutrients that make it junk food.
If carbs were inherently bad for beings in a survival situation (as ducks and other animals generally are,) we wouldn’t think they taste so good.
Fundementally, compared to eating vegetation and high protein insects/fish, bread is absolutely junk food. Feeding them nothing but uncooked whole grains would likely be considered junk food as well, for them (outside of winter).
Carbs are great but unfortunately the only thing vertebrates can do with carbs are either store them as glycogen or fat.
I wish I could build a chitin exoskeleton.
I wish I could build a chitin exoskeleton.
Damn kids these days, no appreciation for their skeletal system
Just some nice hard points and maybe a big pair of chitin gliding wings secured with a chitin chest exoskeleton. Keratin protein is cool and all, but wouldn’t it be nice to get some extra features from eating ice cream instead of just having to store it.
The plants can keep cellulose though. That’s just not worth dealing with.
Plus bread in a pond or water system will eventually rot, adding bad bacteria and upsetting the water cycle. Plus it is also bad for the fish:
https://fishyfeatures.com/can-fish-eat-bread-the-surprising-truth-revealed/Boo bread, boo!
I think whole expensive whole grain bread is just fine. White bread is bad because they fill up on it and it has no nutritional value.
I watched a YT vid about why American whine grain breads are trash, too. If I can stay awake long enough after my class is over, I’ll try to find it. Please remind me, as I’ve got 2 minutes to be back in class and everything went wild this week.
Another reminder 🤓
poke
Not OP but I’m interested, so here’s a reminder
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1e015eLi4lM&pp=ygUeV2hvbGUgZ3JhaW4gc3RvcmUgYm91Z2h0IGJyZWFk
My client isn’t working properly, so here is the raw URL.
ETA: he’s a DC, but still makes valid points and the whole video is < 10 minutes, so less time wasted than me on kbin, trying to make this post. Not sure if it’s kbin or my device, or network latency, and I have studies to attend to. My apologies for lack of proper formatting, etc
https://kbin.social/u/@aBundleOfFerrets@sh.itjust.works 2nd edit < see what I mean?
We recently started making our own flaxseed bread at home. Adding almond milk makes it more fragrant, and toasting + butter makes it taste good. Very heavy on the stomach too so it helps with keeping yourself full longer.
Are you implying that it doesn’t taste good without butter?
We don’t add any sugar to it so it does taste bland (which I assume is what the meme is implying), so a little butter helps.
Believe it not ducks shouldn’t actually eat bread but people feed it to them anyway what you should feed ducks is the specific food for ducks sold in the pet isle of stores such d mill worms and other actual foods ducks are supposed to eat 🦆
Peas and such are a good alternative.
Exactly that’s my point it’s just bread is not a very good choice I didn’t know peas and things like that are good thank for informing me I really do appreciate it super cool
Your lack of punctuation makes this comment read like it was written by a very smart duck :P
Your lack of understanding is hilarious so what if my punctuation is awful does that matter at all no absolutely not English is the stupidest language in the entire world so your point is the stupidest comment I’ve ever heard my point is valid ducks would not be eating bread
When did I say I didn’t understand it? I was just pointing out that you induced a silly image in my head.
Did someone say Bread?
Even ducks can’t get free bread nowadays
I used to feed ducks…still do but I used to feed duck too
FLAX IS NOT MEANT TO BE EATEN
IT IS A TEXTILE BYPRODUCT
it’s where we get linen for chrissakes
imagine if they tried to make us eat fucking nylon
THEY HAVE PLAYED US FOR ABSOLUTE FOOLS
I agree with you, but I have non-standard food opinions.
I think it was flax in veg chips that had a bit more cyanide than normal, and a person who ate two bags of them was badly sickened - though it could have been any of the plants that make cyanide.
Some foods should have safe consumption limits accompanying them
I honestly can’t tell if this is sarcasm or not, but I’m leaning towards yes.
Well, yes, facetious tone was implied and i am pleased that it arrived! If a little shaky in transit.
‘they have played us for absolute fools’ is a contemporary memetic keyphrase, although I did not follow the template to a T.
Everybody talking about the ducks, but is no-one else absolutely jarred by the man hating on the tiniest improvement on the abomination that is American wonderbread? Like come on, be happy that you are going one step closer to salvation and actual tasty bread by buying soft sponge with at least some flax seed added. Flax seeds are delicious.
Traditionally baked bread doesn’t “squish”. It had to be durable without all the modern conveniences. You just couldn’t waste calories.
Traditional doesn’t mean better. If it seems that way, then it’s because the more horrendous practices have been abandoned. I’m just saying, if it squishes, then it’s just “American bread” with seeds thrown in.
Traditionally baked bread doesn’t “squish”. It had to be durable without all the modern conveniences. Y
Oh squishiness definitely exists in traditional styles. It’s also the type of bread you eat the same day as it was baked, though.
Traditional doesn’t mean better. If it seems that way, then it’s because the more horrendous practices have been abandoned.
In an American context yes it does: They abandoned sourdough. A good bread takes time, most of it ripening the dough, having microorganisms pre-digest the thing while producing aroma and no I’m not talking yeast, those come on top of that.
If you look at the ingredients of Germany’s top-selling Toastbrot, what you’d call sandwich bread, you see:
Weizenmehl, Wasser, Weizensauerteig (Weizenmehl, Wasser), Butterreinfett (2,7 %*), Zucker, Hefe, Salz, Säureregulator Natriumacetate, Feldbohnenmehl.
Wheat flour, water, wheat sourdough (wheat flour, water), clarified butter (2.7%), sugar, yeast, salt, acidity regulator sodium acetates, fava bean flour
That’s what passes as a highly engineered industrial process bread in Germany. There’s actually nothing in there that shouldn’t be: Sodium acetate occurs naturally in bread as bacteria form acetic acid and that reacts with salt, fava bean flour is in there to mess around with consistency, crumb texture etc and it’s definitely not terribly traditional to control those things with that ingredient but it’s a native plant that we’ve eaten for millennia so its kinda hard to complain about it.
You can bake something very similar at home, the main difficulty won’t be the ingredients but replicating the factory’s rising and baking process.
I don’t disagree that American bread has a bunch of stuff (added or removed) that makes it less nutritious, but I hate the “natural is good” concept. There’s plenty of stuff made in a lab that’s healthy, and potentially healthier than naturally occurring alternatives. There’s also plenty of natural things that aren’t healthy. Things like GMOs, for example, should be promoted because they can make better use of limited resources to make proper nutrition cheaper for more people.
Natural is not synonymous with good or healthy.
Natural is not synonymous with good or healthy.
I was defending traditional, not natural. For starters, modern grain is anything but natural and with “modern” I mean “even back in antiquity”.
Tradition is the sum total of successful innovations, removing autolysis from the bread making process is not a successful innovation it’s enshittification. Traditional bread can be shelf-stable for months and even years: A good sourdough bread in earthenware wiped with vinegar will not attract mold for a very long time, and crispbread I don’t think the stuff ever spoils as long as you keep it dry.
Things like GMOs, for example, should be promoted because they can make better use of limited resources to make proper nutrition cheaper for more people.
It’s possible to breed better and worse strains with GMO, it’s possible to breed better and worse strains with more established methods, in that sense GMO really isn’t the issue. An example of a non-GMO strain that shouldn’t exist is clearfield rapeseed: Brassicaeae really like to exchange genes cross-species, if you put a pesticide resistance you’ll very soon have it in every weed that happens to be a brassicaeae. Not to mention that rapeseed itself is a nasty weed if you don’t happen to be growing it. The agriculture ministry over here tried to outlaw it, couldn’t because EU rules said it was non-GMO and thus fine, they had to settle for sending farmers brochures telling them about the damages they’d be on the hook for should those genes land on their neighbour’s plot.
There’s also “we’ve got a hammer, where’s the nail” type of behaviour going on around GMO, best example is golden rice. No, the problem isn’t that rice doesn’t contain beta carotene, the problem is that there’s people so piss-poor they can’t afford half a carrot and a spoon of beans, some onion and garlic, with their bowl of rice. It’s completely perverse: Rainbow capitalism is bad enough, now we have charity fucking capitalism. Zizek has a couple of things to say about that.
Anti-GMO sentiment is driven by the impression that something’s not right with modern agriculture, and that impression is dead nuts on – but it’s not GMO that’s the issue, it’s that by and large agricultural techniques are developed by chemical companies wanting to sell farmers products, seeds, fertiliser, pesticides, the whole package. This is actually modern agriculture, based not on trying to beat nature into submission but a deep understanding of it.
And btw we have enough food, and will have for the amount of people we’re going to have (world population growth is going to plateau this century). The issue is not amount, it’s distribution and sustainability. Those phosphorous mines aren’t going to last forever, we can’t continue to depend on that stuff to make our plants grow. How about using GMO to add nitrogen fixing to a crop that depletes nitrogen, or make it compatible with a symbiote that does the nitrogen fixing, or such things. That would be an actual advancement, a step towards a post Haber-Bosch agriculture.
I agree with everything in your comment except still appeal to tradition or appeal to nature are both fallacious. That isn’t to say traditional methods are bad, but traditional doesn’t mean better either. New methods, tools, techniques, and ingredients can be better potentially.
I also agree we have enough resources for everyone on the planet and it’s distribution that’s the issue, but that doesn’t mean efficiency isn’t useful. It allows for either more room for error in a good system, or our fucked up system to make up for it’s issues slightly. There’s no reason not to increase efficiency of produce while also trying to fix perverse systems.
I eat a lot of bread.
In my opinion a crust is a must and traditional is better than American ¯\_༼ •́ ͜ʖ •̀ ༽_/¯
If you’re happy with your state of things, that’s ok for you
in Germany “modern” bread is the same as “traditional” bread
There is a huge difference between the bread from supermarkets and that from bakeries like Hofpfisterei in Munich, that really keep traditions alive. You ever notice how much of the brown bread in supermarkets is not actually whole wheat? It’s colored brown with caramel.
If it says Vollkorn then it’s 90%+ whole-meat. If it doesn’t then it isn’t, your usual “brown bread” in Germany is a Mischbrot.
The Americans are leaking
This is simply yet another reason to buy real bread and not that squishable sugar-laden machine-made amalgam marketed as bread.
man, I used to dislike whole wheat breads with seeds and stuff but… Dave’s Killer Bread Good Seed is fuckin’ amazing. BLTs, texas toast, quick sandwiches on the run - thin slices so not too bad on the calories, and tons of awesome <i dunno, bird seed?> content… highly recommend.
but cute comic.
And it’s still wonderbread.
Imagine what could be if you were to taste something like this :P
For non USAnians, this is Dave’s killer bread
I’ll be honest, I don’t trust bread that looks that… preservable to taste good.
😮bread in a bag?!?!
I cook a lot of borscht nowadays and I can second, Dave’s Killer Bread is actually killer.
The origin’s funny, also. He was a convicted murderer.
They hire ex cons (about a third of their workforce) and are working on some charitable causes to help reduce recidivism rates. They’re a solid company.
I agree. It’s nice to see pro-social organizations.
yeah the people calling it wonderbread don’t know what they’re missing. like, have standards for your bread, for sure, but don’t be a snob.
This may shock you, but in the United States, we have many different kinds of bread for different purposes. I can get bread like the top picture every day from the grocery store, from a couple of different, local bakeries. It’s wonderful to eat with good butter or jam, but totally wrong for a BLT.
BLT
Oh yeah, those go well in a rye-wheat mixed bread with slices so large that half a slice is big enough for a sandwich. Or in a lye roll, also perfect for hearty/salty sandwiches with veggies.
Bread is $10 a loaf. If I were the wife i’d be fucking pissed.
lol where are you shopping?
That was the price of “Mikes Killer Bread”, like… Tuesday this week?
So its the expensive-ish bread. And that was at the cheapest grocery store in town.
Wait, do you mean Dave’s killer bread?
probably? idk I don’t really eat bread, my wife does. Like mile or jakes or maybe daves or something. I’ll post the pick she showed me when I can find it.
9.99 a loaf.
Dave’s is right down the street from where I live, I should check it out someday.
That’s a little more than double than that brand costs here. I am going to guess it’s maybe the double pack you are looking at? That or you live somewhere that has an abnormal amount of costs sunk into shipping, like Alaska, or and Island, or something?
Yep, island.
Still… Before pandemic maybe we pay 1-2 dollars more for some items. Everything was more expensive but uniforrmally so. Now everything is 2x. Everyone knows it’s just gouging, but nothing can be done.
If it’s not a nation island, it may be cheaper, in the long run, to move to the mainland.
That baby’s making dough
One of my personal favorites: The Donut Joke
Now we need the clip of the black comedian who said he took receipts for everything, even a simple cup of coffee, so he always had an alibi in case the cops wrongfully arrested him.
Two very different perspectives on life in America.
Now we need the clip of the black comedian who said he took receipts for everything
Patrice O’Neal - “I collect receipts…I don’t go more than half an hour without buying something”
