macrocarpa

Asking with curiosity and respect, for those in the “keeping my name” camp -

You were given your name by your parents, and most often the surname is the father’s surname.

Most of you adopt nicknames or pet names which change over time (what your family calls you vs your friends vs your colleagues)

Why is it a really big deal to you? Is it being asked / expected to change your name by a societal norm / being told what to do? Or the effort involved in changing it?

Source - male, changed my surname when I moved internationally, married, and wife’s family expected her to change her name to mine because we were starting a new family and that would be the family name.

I didn’t give a shit because my surname isn’t my family name, it’s one of my middle names, so it seemed arbitrary, and said so to both her and them.

Wife decided she would change her name and our kid has that name too. It was an absolute pain in the ass to do for her because she’s lived here for much longer than me so had more things to change, so I understand not wanting to deal with that. But years down the track - everyone seems happy - reading through these comments tho many of you view this as wrong??

Late Gen x and early gen y had an off-line childhood and digital adulthood. I think that explains a fair amount about computer literacy, because a lot of what they were exposed to is the base config so they had to learn their way up.

although I find that there are plenty of both that are absolutely clueless about tech

Another weird thing that changed in that generation was communication style. Sms and email bred their own language and abbreviations…

Other notables - digital wayfinding (online maps and Gps), music purchase and consumption, proliferation of social media, adoption of online persona, all changes that gen x / early y lived through.

Aka inconsiderate people

Wore a maroon coloured hoodie

The dude who asked me this also stared fixedly at the crotch of my board shorts and asked me “where’s your package, man?” upon me exiting climbing out of a (cold) plunge pool

I clearly looked confused, so he says “where’s your piece?”

Dude clearly spent a fair amount of his time cataloguing the outlines of flaccid penises through boardshorts for whatever fucking reason.

I was offended, ish, till I heard the growers vs show-ers thing. Mine retracts while not in use, it’s quite convenient.

While I have empathy, the reason we’re in the state of recognising and intervening with neurodiversity is the work that educators, parents and researchers have done over the past sixty years. Pleae recognise this for the progress it represents.

People do the best with what they have and what they know. No it’s not your fault. Neither is it your parents or teachers when they don’t have the knowledge or tools to help them. There is a solid chance that they were as lost, frustrated and confused as you. Or they’re simply shitty people…

In 50 years time there will be another condition that we don’t know about now, for which we are not providing accommodation, which causes kids harm, that your kids will look back on and be absolutely shocked, like why the fuck was this ever tolerated and how could we not know. Obesity? Usage of social media? Assessment?

If memory serves me correctly it’s named for the sound it makes

Kiiiiii wiiiiiiii

??? So many holes in the way this data is presented

• Different time scales on nearly all the charts

• no definition for what is conservative vs what is liberal

• Divergence has occurred within the past 10 yesrs

• Date range is floating for 18 to 29 year olds

• no data for equality

• no data for relative power

• no data for consequence

The data just…doesn’t support this premise, so probably not.

Never been a multiplayer fan, reading the above its the same story as many other hobbies and recreations tho right?

offer a neverending challenge

…which requires continuous ongoing investment to overcome or even compete

There’s always a better opponent

…who has more time or resource to put into getting better

And I’ve made a lot of good friends through these communities.

…because they attract similar minded people, but there’s also toxic dickheads as well

I feel like the good bits and the bad hits of community are the community

Back in the day, nostalgia was better

Sometimes the base level of aggression or the base level of inflection is way higher than what you’re locally tuned for.

Anecdotally I have found even business conversations with people from the US to be over the top. Especially through the sales cycle. There is a lot of hype that I need to adjust for in comparison to vendors in the UK, Europe and Asia.

It’s not a bad thing, it’s a social standard. I probably appear quiet reserved and shy by comparison.

Guessing bush pilot in Queensland or Northern Territory of Australia based on post history

Shhhhh if we keep quiet they won’t notice and we won’t have to do anything

Fuck me. Thank you. Life just got a lot easier.

Specifically broccoli, carrot, chard, beets

If you have potatoes don’t peel them

Also fruits especially raspberries and mango

Breakfast smoothie of whole rolled oats, frozen raspberries and oat milk is easy to get down especially if you soak the rolled oats in the oat milk overnight first.

I add cottage cheese for protein and three ice cubes for water, happy days.

No, Pele

Huh. Never knew that was his full name.

Except there absolutely is an absolute right and absolute wrong to gender equality (and more importantly, equity)

There is not. Equality is arbitrary. Equity is arbitrary. They are ideals / values that we each hold individually, and rank individually. Clearly, equality is an important value for you. Good. But your value of equality is shaped by you, not anyone else.

If you take your value set and say this should be the value set which everyone else has - you won’t change them. That’s my point. Equality is a value. It is ranked amongst other values. Do you value equality more than security? Financial independence? Safety? Control? Family? Social status? Faith? Children? Education? Career? Mastery of skill? Respect? Knowledge? Influence? Conservatism? Freedom? The environment?

For a given person you engage with, whether it be online, in person, in a relationship, over the phone, randomly in a street - their value set is intrinsic to them. Equality might not rank in their top five, or ten values. When you speak up on equality and say “you should”, people who don’t share your value set hear something different. What they hear is “You are wrong”. Speaking of which:

And you clearly don’t

you’re just another wilfully ignorant self serving misogynist who is wrong

sigh

That’s a shame. I’m sorry that you feel that way. Have to say it’s the first time I’ve been called a misogynist. I think if you met me you wouldn’t think that at all.

Your opinion of me doesn’t really matter - it doesn’t change anything. What did change things for me was reading The Mental Load by Emma. It crystallised what I already knew, and helped me to better understand the difference between contribution, effort and load.

Do you want to know why?

Then as those roles are indeed slowly being broken down it stands to reason that each successive generation is less willing to put up with them - but if you still see them as normal it will come as a surprise.

Except…entrenched gender roles are normal. This is expected human behaviour for 90% of the world. Equality, be it gender, age, ethnic or religious, is…just not how things work. It may be distasteful for you personally, but the rest of humanity doesn’t give a toss - Western civilisation is a thin smear of civility which only popped up in the past couple of hundred years, and what’s worked quite well for millennia is what’s still working pretty effectively for several billion people.

There is no absolute right and absolute wrong to gender equality, and that there is a regression or progression over time, merely opinions shaped by culture, background and opportunities. The events of the past 10 years have convinced me that the “good” parts of liberalism are unsustainable because people at their core are just…selfish. The only way to convince them to change something is if it is in their self interest. Regrettably, equality rarely aligns with self interest because it requires relinquishing something. Equality and equity of opportunity only exist when the opportunity exist. Otherwise it’s back to the dumb old shit we used to do.

Edited to add:

I didn’t phrase it well above,

The ground state for humanity is inequality. Whether we wish it or not.

The pursuit of equality and equity means these things need to be prioritised above other things.

It is hard to convince people to prioritise something they are not invested in, especially if they don’t benefit from it or value it.

The qualifier base is exactly right. Like we use base as a pejorative, but it is what we are. That is our base state.

You know what itd take to drop us back to this level? I would say about a week without electricity. If you said to any given group of what, 50 people. Pick numbers out of a hat. The person with the dot dies, but the electricity comes back on. That would be enough.