Well first these are the frequent talking points of incels when they harp on what they consider “low value females”. If you find yourself constantly repeating such devaluing talking points, maybe a break from the internet would do you good. Secondly, and more generally, it is usually more attractive to talk about the things you love than the things you hate. Unless you have already established that you and the other person hate the same things, then you can bond over that too.
This. She probably wasn’t disgusted by the content, but by the form of what he said.
I can almmost guarantee this is what it is. One of those isn’t even a big deal. If I was single I wouldn’t date a single mom, not because there’s anything wrong with them but because I’m looking for a serious relationship, and I know I’m not emotionally ready to be a father and I know I never will be.
I don’t want kids for that reason. I was raised by a single mom and have seen how difficult it is. Nothing but respect for all of them out there.
Yeah, I don’t know why no dating apps. What’s that about?
Probably something about the hookup culture? Strangest of the 3 imo
For sure. I met my now fiancee on a dating app, neither of us are into hookup culture. She’s demisexual so it’s actually the opposite for her and I’m just not interested in it. These guys are really huffing the 4chan sauce hard.
Probably true, I found my wife before dating apps were commonplace, just what I’ve heard from others my age, I can’t imagine trying to date these days. Also kinda surprising 4chan is still around.
Yea 4chan is worse than it used to. I browse the X board which is just supernatural stuff. No kidding, 5 percent is the stuff I browse for which most people would be interested in, ghosts, cryotids, aliens, scary stories the usual stuff but X is overrun by semen retention, succubus, manifestation, literal religious nut jobs, actually literal insane conspiracies, the nobody (sounds interesting but it’s actually just delusional people), divination and spirituality and any and all combinations of all these topics sprinkled with casual racism and xenophobia.
I’m not even nitpicking these are common and I just pulled up the app and saw all of the there.
I unserstand how some of these could fall under paranormal but the board is just overrun by insane posts and nobody sane could remotely believe them.
My boi here knows how to hold a conversation.
A skill OOP seems to be severely lacking in
Don’t bring object oriented programming into this.
Anons member will forever remain private.
I believe a lot of the problem with 4chan is that they publicly declare everything, when a lot of it should really be contained to a private scope
We, the plebs, do enjoy the public declarations of 4chan though. It’s like how normies enjoy gossip magazines to hear what bullshit some actor has done this week. In both cases, people also like to complain how bad it is to like those things.
Incels? there are plenty of family men that think this way. They stuck to their preferences and have a much better life for it. We shouldn’t marginalize them for it and give them names that don’t make any sense also being afraid to speak about preferences is not good.
If an incel becomes a family man, he isn’t an incel anymore. It’s part of the definition of incel. Also, they don’t have a better life for it, but a better life despite it (if they even have a better life, incels tend to sabotage their own happines). And you say we shouldn’t marginalise men,but it’s okay to marginalise women?
All this inclusivity talk but keep shitting on incels?? How does that work?
Basic human society. Hunters and gatherers did it too.
People formed tribes to build a circle of trusted people, those outside the tribe were not trusted by default. It was a basic survivval technique. Tribesmen who broke the trust were kicked out. People who wanted to join the tribe had to prove their trustworthiness.
Inclusivity people are a global tribe. You are not in the tribe because you have proven yourself not trustworthy. You cannot be trusted to treat all tribe members with respect. If you want to be back in the tribe, you will have to prove yourself.
For some one that is offended by 3 preferences and talks all this inclusivity. You are a hypocrite!
Not at all. It is just that these two groups don’t go together. You are free to choose either. If you want to play with the other incels, that is fine. If you want to join the inclusivity group that is fine, you are welcome, that is the essence of inclusivity. But you cannot be in both.
Preferences are fine. It still matters how you express them. In the current zeitgeist, with inceldom being a thing, the way these preferences were expressed smacked of that. The fact that you want to defend this specific trifecta of otherwise completely unrelated preferences, claiming they lead to a better life, makes me think you might be an incel yourself, or maybe just a conservative who’s consumed a few too many such videos promoting “family values” and purporting that these are threatened by a woman’s weight, or her having to raise a child on her own, or her seeking love and attention on dating apps. Truth is these are pretty much unrelated to whether one values family and to each other. It’s just a collection of caricatures, stereotypes, and cautionary tales circulating in conservative circles. If all one can think of when asked for their preferences regarding a partner are these known talking points, it is a little suspect. FWIW, I do not think we should marginalize conservatives. But I do think we should marginalize misogyny.
How you express them is crazy lol… express them by not being afraid. Never be afraid to say them so it can be heard and respected. You talk all this inclusivity and shit on incels.
Hmm I am not sure I understand what you’re saying or that you understood anything I said. Maybe we are talking past each other. Nevermind, let’s forget about incels. Main point is whatever your preferences, framing them positively helps.
not having positive preferences to look for but instead having multiple dealbreakers suggests that all women are functionally the same to you except for the ones who you think are lower quality… that is to say, you are not meaningfully valuing other people
Deal breakers are things that are limits. Limits are–in general–a good thing. It’s not that you’re saying that women–or people in general–are fungible, but you’re saying that people that fit any of these criteria won’t work.
IIRC, Dan Savage has said that there’s no settling down without settling. You can–should–have limits, but if it’s more than five things, you need to look at yourself very, very closely. You aren’t going to like every single thing about your partner, but you have to be able to accept them.
I could say, for instance, that I prefer people that are heavily tattooed, pierced, scarred, branded, and implanted. (…Which limits me to about .0001% of the US population.) But that’s not a deal breaker; I’m not going to reject someone because they don’t fit that particular preference, even though my body modification is important to me. On the other hand, I absolutely will not date anyone that doesn’t have a worldview that’s grounded in reality, e.g., is religious/“spiritual”, or believes in any conspiratorial nonsense, because I couldn’t have respect for a person like that. THAT’S a deal breaker. I won’t date someone that wants children; I’m unfit to be a parent, and I had myself sterilized a number of years ago. Again: that’s a deal breaker, because as with religious garbage, it’s a question of basic values.
But when people ask for your preferences they want to know your actual preferences (the positives), not the dealbreakers.
For example, if I asked someone out to lunch and asked what kind of food do they prefer (their preference) then I don’t want to hear a list off all the foods they dislike.
But the point of saying that certain things are dealbreakers is that, outside of those, anything is within the realm of possibility.
Do I prefer people with “extreme” body modifications? Sure. Is that a requirement? No.
With food, maybe I prefer Brazilian steakhouses, but the only thing I really dislike is pasta, sandwiches, and deep-fried everything. I’m not going to exclude Thai, Indian, Ethiopian, or Polish food, just because it’s not my favorite kind of restaurant. I’m literally going to be fine with anything that isn’t on my dislike list.
Continuing with the food analogy.
The problem is that I’m basically up for trying almost anything.
I know what I foods I probably wouldn’t like (paprika for example).
And there are certain foods that I like more than others, but there is no hard preference.
Asian food? No problem.
Pizza? Love it.
McDonald’s bit plain but always reliable.
Kebab? Nice.
There simply is no preference, as long as I like the taste and it fills the stomach, I am happy.
My preference is women not yet blessed with children, in good shape, and not whoring themselves out on dating apps like tinder.
It’s actually really simple to use positive language!
not whoring themselves out on dating apps like tinder.
Oh yeah, really positive that
You said “not” twice, so…
I’m not very good at being positive I guess
Or…you tend to be negative.
It actually is -
-I’m not interested in having kids, so I’d want a partner that feels the same.
-I like exercising, so I’d want to be with someone who does as well, particuarly if they’re into (insert physical hobby you enjoy)
-I like to go out and do (insert activities in meatspace that often involve meeting people), so I’d be interested in someone who likes to do that kind of thing over just sitting at home scrolling the internet.These are good qualifiers that more or less equate to the same thing as OP states without coming across like a dick. From there, if someone was to introduce someone to OP, they can make a further determination of compatibility, and if someone doesn’t match due to the blunter version of the above it can be as easy as “I didn’t really feel a connection, [and unless she’s actually kind of a bitch] but she’s a great person and I hope she meets someone awesome”.
Edit: That said, if you’re the version of yourself that doesn’t match what you’re looking for, you should be working on that before seeking a partner IMO.
ಠ_ಠ
Instead of saying “good shape” which is a boring / potentially problematic answer, instead say “someone who is into (whatever sport or activity you enjoy)”. If you love to cycle or trail run then wanting someone who shares your interests is legitimate.
“I just want a manic pixie dream girl whos never known the touch of a man but is an absolute nymphomaniac and doesn’t have sharp knees is that so much to ask???”
Saving this for when I have to describe my preference to anyone again.
I just started talking with a girl who said she loved eggs as a midnight snack. So I said I’m looking for a Gaston-like girl, large as a barge, eats 5 dozen eggs, and hair on every inch of her. She responded in good humor, a fun little conversation.
Whats up with the knees?
Meanwhile women: 6 foot, 7 figures, 8 inches or move along.
I’m imagining he was an obese single dad scrolling Tinder as he was telling her this.
Spends countless hours on 4chan. He must be an emotionally intelligent, sensitive go-getter!
Was she an obese single mom who had met your friend on tinder?
Those are not unreasonable preferences
The tinder one is though. Someone being on tinder doesn’t tell you anything about that person. Only that they’re looking for either a partner or casual sex.
You literally just said it tells you nothing and then listed something it tells you.
Being on tinder doesn’t tell anything new given the context of the conversation. Any single girls that anon’s friend’s gf would consider referring to our apparently-single anon would be interested in one or both of those things whether they were on tinder or not, or they hopefully wouldn’t agree to a date.
Well it sort of depends. Using dating apps for hookups is fine, but its awful for building relationships. The ghosting alone is pretty traumatic.
I would hope a potential dating partner would also be aware of this and have a similar view. They could just say they use it for hook ups exclusively though and it wouldnt bother me.
Presumably, if you’re looking for a partner, if the potential partner is looking for a partner it’s better.
I would agree but tinder and most dating apps are not for relationships they are for sex.
Well actually…
This is fake but that said…
Meh, Tinder isn’t a dating app. It’s a hook up app. There are dating apps which are fine, but tinder is a hookup bar, you know the one, where the bar is empty by 12:30 am because everyone has found a friend for the night. Can you find a long term mate? Sure but odds are against you.
What are the dating apps?
Things like eHarmony, Match, etc. they generally have a lot more information about potential matches and there’s usually a back and forth over a period of time.
I know several people that met spouses on them.I used them with some success.
The friends that used Tinder the choice to swipe is 99% based on looks alone. And things usually move very fast.
Not saying you can’t meet long term interest on Tinder or can’t have a hook up on others. But they have pretty defined goal differences and the people that use them also.
Disclaimer: I’m a strong proponent of people being happy and doing right for them. I make no judgements.
Or the latter leading to the former
I think the phrasing is the problem. This comes off as overly negative. If you say something more along the lines of “I am not yet ready to have kids, so I’d rather not be with someone who has them. I like women who are in good shape, and I am looking for a long term relationship.” You come off as way less of an incel.
It is not an unknown that a lot of men have no interest in a single mother or raising someone else’s child. Saying that’s at incel level is a silly over exaggeration.
Reasonable preferences stated in the form of red flags are still red flags.
Filter. not preferences.
Same thing.
No
deleted by creator
I just say “I’ll know when I meet her.”
We don’t know who we’ll be attracted to until we meet them. This question is impossible to answer accurately, especially by an incel.
deleted by creator
No obese women probably set her off. She was probably obese herself. The other 2 are pretty standard. Most single people are on dating apps so that’s a bit unrealistic.
So how’s the single life?
Demand lists and redline lists suck and make people look like assholes, regardless of their gender, and even when there are legit red lines you wont go near because of safety, which none of these are.
In this case, a no fat chicks rule is gonna trigger every woman’s societal induced neurosis about weight and body dysmorphia, you fucked up, never say that one out loud to a woman. It marks you aspart of the body dysmorphia problem.
No single moms, reasonable if you dont want kids or to be involved in raising one, but still makes you sound like an asshole. Not wanting or having kids is taboo even now, look at the shit that the republicans have been throwing at Kamala Harris. Rejecting a wonderful person because they have a kid is also dickish. And, depending on your age and where you live, the odds of finding a partner who does not have kids could be low to zero anyway.
No dating apps? What planet do you live on? Dating apps are everywhere and for some people the only option for dating. People meet spouses on em. Oh just not hookup apps? Then this smells like slut shaming, in which case fuck you. I love sluts; don’t shame them or you will piss me off personally. If you want a virgin, become a religious fundamentalist and possibly a pedophile. People have sex and if you have a problem with that it’s probably a red flag.
Sorry for the rant, this is greentext so probably all lies anyway, but it set me off.
I think the real issues here are:
- Making obesity your top concern just shows that the most important thing to you is a woman’s looks. That’s a red flag that other things aren’t as important.
- Making single moms a dealbreaker is somewhat derogatory. If you don’t want kids, make that your requirement, but a lot of men out there are really saying “I don’t want to raise another man’s kid”, which is another red flag of toxic masculinity.
- The “not on dating apps” requirement does seem to stem from the paranoia that women on dating apps are sluts (another toxic red flag), but that’s some self-hate right there. Pretty much every single woman is using dating apps because that’s how people date these days. If Tinder is a dealbreaker, you’re gonna die alone.
So basically, if you’re a woman, and you hear a guy list these requirements, what you really hear is:
- Hot girls only, my sexual satisfaction is of the highest priority.
- I need to pretend you are a virgin, so I want to see no evidence that you existed as a sexual person before dating me, otherwise my ego will collapse.
- I hate women and think they’re sluts, so you better not have any qualities that I arbitrarily associate with promiscuity. See also: #2 about how I need to feel like I’m fucking a virgin. Also #1 where she better be hot.
Honestly, I would judge any woman that dated a man this trashy.
Obesidy is sickness, kids are annoying, onlyfans it not a women empowerment tool, its just digital prostitution. I don’t know if he is incel, but he is based.
